The End Is the Beginning
by mute90
Summary: She’s dying but they’ve been there before…because it’s Wyatt and Chris and it will never end.


Title: The End Is the Beginning

Characters: Bianca, Chris, Wyatt

Rating: PG13 (language)

Disclaimer: Charmed does not belong to me in any way, shape, or form.

Summary: She's dying but they've been there before…because it's Wyatt and Chris and it will never end.

* * *

"Haven't we been here before?" She smiles painfully and wonders if it will ever end.

XXX

Sometimes, she curses the day she met them – the first time.

They're half a country apart but it happens on the same day.

She is an assassin. Beautiful. Deadly. Proficient. She rises above the others and soon has the _honor_ of personally receiving an assignment from Lord Wyatt.

She is a spy. Beautiful. Deadly. Proficient. She alerts the Resistance to the threat toward its leader and collides with Chris Perry in the narrow tunnels.

Wyatt tells her he wants a head as proof of a task successfully completed.

Chris tells her he is a whitelighter that grew up in a cottage in Colorado.

Wyatt runs his fingers down her arm.

Chris kisses the side of her mouth.

She looks back and considers herself stupid for not realizing.

There is a plan. It's risky and complicated but it could work. It could kill Wyatt and it's what she believes in but Chris leans in like he wants to kiss her mouth – just to the side – and whispers, "He's my brother."

The first time she dies, she's helping him warn Wyatt. They're just a little too late.

Her world explodes and she's never sure if it's Wyatt or Chris who dies there, if it's Wyatt or Chris who first turns back time to save the other.

All she knows is she wakes up the next day or two days before; Chris leans in like he wants to kiss her mouth – just to the side – and whispers, "He's my brother."

XXX

Sometimes, she curses the memories.

She never dies peacefully. She burns, bleeds out, chokes, drowns in her blood… She knows how painful it is to die in every way and, sometimes, she wishes she could be among all the others who forget.

But forgetting the bad means forgetting the good.

It means forgetting Wyatt's fingers on her arm, a teasing glint in his eye as he looks across at Chris, who leans in and kisses her mouth.

It means forgetting when Wyatt is good, Chris is evil, or whatever combination that puts them on the same side. Wyatt lays a hand on Chris' shoulder and Chris looks up at him with so much love and devotion that she thinks she might drown in it – if he ever gave it to her.

It means forgetting with everyone else while Wyatt and Chris stand apart.

Too many timelines to count and she doesn't know if she can exist without them anymore.

She doesn't wonder if they could exist without her. She knows.

XXX

Sometimes, she curses the people.

There's the drunk driver who kills Chris when he's sixteen, the demon who drains Wyatt of his magic and then his life, the pack Wyatt arrived just a little too late to stop, Piper and Leo once not even conceiving Chris…

They destroyed happy times, she tells herself. They tipped the scale of good and bad memories.

Then, she remembers Wyatt secretly organizing the underworld and ruffling Chris' hair. She remembers Chris laughing at one of Wyatt's jokes and then vanquishing an ally so important that Wyatt killed her in retaliation. She remembers…

"Fuck you!"

and

"I don't need you!"

and

"Rot in hell!"

and

"I don't need you!"

and

"I don't need you!"

She remembers hearts ripped out and stomped on.

She remembers the times they killed each other in anger or in the stupid belief that, this time, they could live with the loss.

She remembers and she stops cursing everyone else. Wyatt and Chris would have fucked it up eventually.

XXX

Most of the time, she curses herself.

She still cries. She still screams. She still gets between them like it will make any bit of difference. No matter how many times it happens, she can't stop herself. No matter how much she knows that they barely see her when she does it, she does it all over again.

"Don't hurt him!"

"Please!"

"Just stop!"

XXX

"Haven't we been here before?"

Chris smiles painfully at her, "Maybe we will be again."

And she closes her eyes tight and knows it will never end.

XXX

Most of the time, she curses herself because she curses so much but can't bring herself to regret.

* * *

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